How early should you start your child in the martial arts?

What style should I choose?

What kind of facility should I look for?

What should I do if my child wants to quit?

How can I motivate my child to continue?

How much do martial arts lessons cost?

Do I have to sign a contract?

What if I like the school, but the school insists on having me sign a contract?

While the martial arts are an enjoyable and very worthwhile activity for children, it should be recognized that progress will take consistent class attendance, some practice and support from the family (kids cannot drive themselves to class). How early to start a child really depends on the individual child and their level of interest and maturity. Many professional schools have age specific classes and curriculum programs for children as young four, five or six years old. These programs are very popular and can be a great way for a child to learn concentration, self-control and start to develop more coordination. Programs for children of this age usually are less demanding than mainstream martial arts programs and bypass much of the serious self-defense training in favor of more age appropriate and fun activities.

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What style should I choose?

The only style that really matters is the teaching style of the instructor. Yes, styles vary and you may prefer one style over another, but style should be a secondary consideration. The first priority is finding an instructor that you feel comfortable with and who can motivate you to come to class twice a week. All styles have their strengths and weaknesses. While it would be nice to say that your body type or flexibility should match up with a certain style, it is more important to match up with the right instructor and school.

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What kind of facility should I look for?

Here it is important to trust your first impressions. The modern martial arts school is clean, well lit, and spacious. It also has good family atmosphere. The mirrors are polished, the floor is clean and the dressing rooms in good order. On the walls, you might see photographs of recent school events and outings and there should definitely be an area for parents or family to sit and watch the classes. Beware of any school that does not allow you to watch the class. Particularly if you are a parent looking for school for your kids, you should have real concerns about a school that does not allow you to watch them work with your child. An instructor might say that they do not want the child to be distracted by the parents, but the truth usually is that the instructor does not want to be accountable to the parent. Conversely, professional instructors will practically insist that you stay and watch. They know that once you see the positive lessons they are teaching your child, that you will be even more supportive of the training. The truth is that the instructor who encourages you to take the time to watch your child in class is doing you and your child a great service. In today's busy world, the tendency to drop off a child and not take the time to share the experience of learning a new skill is all too prevalent. I have always found that the kids whose parents were in class and supportive seemed to do much better and be more well adjusted than the drop off kids. Children, more than anything else, want their parents to take an interest in them and be proud. Martial arts, taught by a professional, has a series of "victories" for each child ranging from a new belt or stripe on their belt to other forms of recognition for the child. That recognition is greatly enhanced when the parent is there to share in the pride. Consider a professional martial arts instructor as a part of the team whose goal is to instill a strong sense of self-pride and confidence in your child. As a parent, your presence in that classroom is critical to the success of the team.

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What should I do if my child wants to quit?

There will come a time when your child says, "I'm too tired to go to class today." This is a critical point in a child's training. This is when you help teach them about follow through and the never-quit attitude. Don't be concerned about "pushing it on your child." This is hogwash. Children wouldn't go to school, brush their teeth or clean their room if you didn't "push it on them." There is a big difference between helping a child follow through on a goal they agreed to and force-feeding something on a child. When you begin the classes, agree with your child on some short-term goals such as green belt or brown belt with the understanding that there will be no quitting until the goal is achieved. The real goal in the training should be black belt, but until you've had a chance to really understand what it takes to earn a black belt, it's best to set a more reachable initial goal. Once you've determined that black belt is your goal, commit to it with full enthusiasm. However, it's unrealistic to expect a child not to, at some point, rebel against the effort. This is natural and should not lead to quitting. Quitting can quickly become a bad habit. Facing these types of challenges is part of the training inherent in the martial arts.

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How can I motivate my child to continue?

Staying with a goal without quitting is an integral skill that has to be instilled by the parent. This is the very foundation of goal setting and achievement. Quitting is the very foundation of under-performance and failure. The world is full of great starters. Teach your child that it is the ability to set goals and see them through to their completion that is most important. When you have been attending with the child and know exactly what has been happening in class, you can help re-motivate the child in to getting to class by reminding them of how much they enjoy the last class and that they can look forward to seeing their friends in class.

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How much do martial arts lessons cost?

While the actual cost per month will vary widely from market to market, this question has to be approached from a slightly different perspective than money alone. In seminars around the country, I ask the black belts a simple question, "If I could give you $10,000, would you be willing to sell me back your black belt and the impact that martial arts has had on your life? Would you be willing to erase your martial arts experience from your life for $10,000? For $20,000? How about $50,000?" In speaking before thousands of black belts, never has someone offered to accept my hypothetical offer. The point is that whether your classes are $40, $70 or $100 a month, the value of earning a black belt far exceeds the investment. What is it worth to walk out to your car with a loved one late at night after a show and know that if something happens, you have the skill to deal with it? What is it worth to a parent to know that their child is developing the self-pride and inner confidence to avoid negative peer pressures? What is it worth to any of us in today's violent world to empower ourselves or our children with the skills to handle a confrontation? It's worth a lot more than it costs to gain the knowledge. With the huge variance in the instructors, facility, and atmosphere of one school to the next, you should never shop for the martial arts based upon price. Schools tend to charge what they think they are worth. If a school is charging $30 per month, there is a reason it is so cheap. If a school is charging $85 per month, there is usually a reason the instructor feels it is worth more. What is interesting is that, in most cases, the schools that charge a little more for the quality of their instruction tend to be bigger and have many more students than the bargain-basement schools that charge apologetically. Most good schools will charge anywhere from $70 per month and up with a small registration of about $149. This registration might include your membership in the National Association of Professional Martial Artists, your first month dues and, possibly, your uniform.

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Do I have to sign a contract?

This depends on the school and your situation. Many schools do not require any contract or agreement. However, signing a contract for lessons is not always a bad idea. One advantage to signing a contract is that you are locking in the tuition at the current rate and can avoid increases. The key is to not sign for more than you are confident you can follow through on. Since earning a black belt should take three to four years, you should avoid any kind of long-term agreements over four or five years. However, if you know you want to earn a black belt, it makes perfect sense to lock in the lowest tuition possible for that time period. There are some additional items to consider when faced with an agreement for lessons. Check with the local Merchants Association, Better Business Bureau and Consumer's Affairs or Consumer Protection agency to see if the school has a history of litigation or complaints. Many schools use the agreement only as a way to clearly spell out the arrangements for the relationship between the student and the school. They will not enforce any type of hard collections that may damage your credit or harass you. On the other hand, there are certainly schools that will attempt to collect on the contract and that could be a real problem for you. Other schools go as far as to sell the contracts to a third party. This third party will aggressively pursue the collections whether you are in class or not. This selling of the contract to a third party should definitely be avoided. Find out what the school plans to do with the paperwork before signing on the dotted line. However, it is perfectly reasonable for a school to employ a tuition billing company to process your payments. This is very different from selling them your contract. In this case, the third party billing company simply accepts your payments, keeps a small percentage as a fee and then sends the school the remainder. Martial artists do not always make the best bookkeepers so it is a good idea for them to hire the processing and posting of payments to an expert.

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What if I like the school, but the school insists on having me sign a contract?

If you are uncomfortable signing a contract for yourself or your child, tell the school that you're uncomfortable and seek out an alternate arrangement. Most schools will work with a student in order to provide the training. However, other schools will turn the student away if he is not willing to commit to training more than a month at a time. In addition, state laws can affect what type of arrangement a school can make, so find out ahead of time what to expect from a school.